A failure. (I love calling myself bad things and names.)

I do know why I went through so many online journals in the span of several years, it's because I don't know how to write in one. I always write stupid things, uninteresting things. And I easily get tired of that, so I create another journal and the bullshit starts all over again. What can I do? You can't magically turn into an interesting person, unless you just become someone else.

But I've got a paper diary, and the best thing about it is that the only person who'll read it is me. I'm finishing writing the 3rd volume of my diary. And it does help me to be more relaxed. I write things that I don't want others to know about me, I write my feelings down.

The thing about online journals is that I can't really tell you all my most deepest secrets and feelings. I can just write about what my day was or just flail about cute band boys or something. Nothing serious. It seems that I just can't be not serious. My problem.

I'm just ashamed of my feelings.